Bob's Big Bash
On 7 May the well-respected veteran crime writer received the Cartier CWA Diamond Dagger in recognition of his contribution to crime writing. This is my account of this happy occasion.
The Cartier Diamond Dagger Awards Ceremony 2003
I don't know if it's true that the sun shines down on the righteous, but I do know that for the last four years since I have been covering the Diamond Dagger function for Red Herrings, the evening has been bright and sunny, the air filled with promises of summer warmth to come. This year was no exception. As I made my way towards those impressive Corinthian pillars of the British Museum, I espied Robert Barnard with his wife Louise standing at the bottom of the steps greeting people. They were bathed in the rich yellow of the evening sun. It was almost like a spotlight on the main attraction.
The Restaurant of the British Museum is my favourite CWA venue: it is minimalist and yet so stylish; and one has only to peer over one of the parapets to gaze down upon the historical reading room where so many great writers toiled away in the past. And, it has to be said, the wine glasses are refilled with attractive regularity.
Lindsey Davis commenced the formal part of the evening and stated that she had known Bob since she joined the CWA when he complimented her on her novels. 'That is the measure of the kind of man he is a CWA person and it is always an especially gratifying when a Diamond Dagger goes to one of our own.' At this point, Lindsey took a moment to thank Adrian Muller for organising the event - as well as many other events in the past and as a token of the CWA's gratitude to Adrian, he was presented with a Red Herring.
Appropriately, Lindsey thanked our sponsor 'our favourite sponsor' Cartier and its illustrious representative M. Bamberger. (Great cheers etc from onlookers). Then a telegram was produced. Lindsey informed us that it was from Elizabeth Walter who 'discovered Robert Barnard and many other people in this room.' The telegram read, 'My dears, first of all my love to all my loved ones - you know who you are. This must include just about every crime writer in this room so in the case of the few exceptions, least they feel excluded may I draw them also into the muddy circle which is crime writing so that we may all celebrate Bob's wonderful and well deserved award for a life time's achievement, Elizabeth.'
Before passing over to M Bamberger who we were informed would be regaling us with the great achievements of Barnard the man and novelist, she had decided to reveal some of Bob's failures. While admitting that he had a civilising influence on the CWA, his endeavours were not always successful - like the time he failed to get two novels published. One was set in the year 2000 - when that year was far off in the future - and the plot involved Queen finding that her heirs were being 'knocked off'. Bob's publisher at the times was Collins, the head of which was hoping for a life peerage and so the book got the thumbs down. As did another daring tome called The Resurrection Men set at the time of the crucifixion but Collins were the official publishers of the Bible at the time. As Bob himself observed, 'They didn't want to publish an alternative and much funnier version of events'.
Lindsey finished by giving a list of RB's merits as an author: 'Plotting: exemplary; characterisation: smashing; dialogue: realistic; tone: ironic; satire: social and political; narrative: exemplary; range: huge; titles: well anyone who can write a book called Death on the High Cs about singing! Well!'
It was now time for Cartier's M. Bamberger to take central stage. He lays the Gallic charm on with a very chic trowel and it works wonderfully well. He was glad, once again, to be in the company of the 'cooper slooths' and turned his attention of R.Barnard Esq. He announced that it was the eleventh time he had presented the Diamond Dagger and reminded us of the criteria involved in selecting each recipient: 'In choosing the winner, the CWA take into account two essential criteria; their careers must be marked by sustained excellence and they must have made a significant contribution to crime fiction published in the English language.' Clearly Robert Barnard falls into the category as the author of forty novels and four other works. According to M. Bamberger Bob's early influence in writing came from Enid Blyton but he soon moved on to Agatha Christie. We were told that Bob's favourite form of transport was indeed public transport (apparently Louise doesn't trust him behind a wheel) because it is here that snatches of overheard conversation become the inspiration for plots. Mon Bamberger reminded us of Bob's cosmopolitan credentials, he an Oxford University man, taught in Australia and Norway and now dwells in Yorkshire where The Yorkshire Post described him as one of Yorkshire's most well-regarded adopted sons.
There was the usual Bamberger witty joke to conclude his part in the proceedings - the joke was well up to standard but I fear it would lose so much in translation!
Having been presented with his award, Bob flushed with emotion, stepped forward to say his piece. He began by thanking M. Bamberger and saying how touched he and Louise were by the number of friends and fellow crime writers who had come along to share the evening. Then he referred to a 'sort of mystery': 'I couldn't understand when Lindsey rang me in December to explain that I had been given this wonderful honour, she said to me and then said to many other people as well, 'I thought he would refuse'. Refuse? I have to say that if I got an envelope from Buckingham Palace telling me that I had been awarded the British Empire Medal Second Class without bar - the sort of thing lollipop ladies turn their noses up at - I would nevertheless crawl all the way from Kings Cross to the palace and slaver on Her Majesty's robe as she pinned the medal to my chest. We don't get honours so often that one can refuse them. And how in the world could one refuse the prime, the main, the greatest honour that could be given to one.'
Then Bob gave some observations about the Swedish and Australian languages and their usages. Apparently Australian is a wonderful way of adding spice to the dialogue in a crime novel that is not going terribly well. 'It's very good at monosyllabic propositioning across saloon bar counter - sort of 'Your room at ten if I'm not pissed out of my mind.'
On a more serious tack, Bob relished the fact that, 'I have joined my two fellow members of what we call the vintage 1936 club: Reg [Hill] and Peter Lovesey. I come last because I am immeasurably the youngest of the three. It's good to join them and three of us with Diamond Daggers is something of an achievement, I think. It's worth remembering that 1936 at the time was called by people 'the year of the three kings'.
Then it was time for further confessions and thanks: 'I'm not one of those people who thinks that when you win an award you have to thank everyone else who had the remotest connection with your writing. I am of the 'alone I did it' school. It would have been lovely to have Elizabeth Walter here tonight. But it's a great pleasure to have here my American editor of twenty-five years, Suzanne Kirk. It's also good to have here my new editor David Shelley. I expect him to be my editor for the next twenty-five years - if he lives that long. It's also great to have my agent Jane Gregory here. And in particular I must say how much I depend on my wife of forty years this year, Louise. She is the first critic of every book, probably one of the kindest because she doesn't want me to grouch around the house afterwards.'
It was time for one final confession: 'I was on the CWA committee at the time the Cartier Diamond Dagger was first mooted and I remember saying that if you give it every year, in the end you'll get a succession of boring old farts. I have to say that for once that I have completely changed my mind'. Bob left us laughing and at last he allowed himself a drink.
It was good evening with a warm and friendly atmosphere filling that lofty chamber with not a boring old fart in sight.
David Stuart Davies on Monday, June 1st 2003 @ 03:22 PM GMT [link]